Part 2   Surgery and a Diagnosis 
{Part 1 is further down if you haven't read that yet}

Tuesday July 5th -  Abby has been picked up by Heather to head up to the "Idaho contingent". {Phrase coined by my Dad - Bruce Cameron} She will be staying with Debbie, Brad and Family and  with Eric, Heather and Family.  Thank you!  I worry most about Abby and how to deal with her and her needs and being crazy sick.  I am blessed with great family and a strong village.  It is the only way this will go well!

Wednesday July 6th - I go to work and plow through my work load knowing I won't be there for several days.  I end up not eating lunch.  I tell myself I am just practicing for the fast that needs to start at 12 midnight.  I of course start to get a headache. Oh no!

I get home and eat dinner and then get a text from Natalie. How are you doing? Don't forget to pack a back to stay with us tomorrow.  Do you want a blessing tonight or in the morning?

I am of course worried about being scared and hungry the next day.  After that comes the call. Get your butt over here. {Not quite those exact words} We will keep your mind off of tomorrow, give you a blessing and make sure you are not alone.

THAT is the stuff that gets you through things!  I am learning to accept help.  Not exactly my strong suit.  I will get plenty of  practice in the days to come.  Of that I am sure!

Thursday July 7th - The BIG DAY!  I wake up with a MIGRAINE!!!!!  This is okay actually.  Who has time to be scared when you have a migraine?  I mean you can't think let alone be nervous!  That is my Pollyanna moment.

I called the day before and my surgery is scheduled for 1pm.  Be there at 11:45am.

At about 9am they call me and tell me that things are postponing and not to get there until 12:45pm. Dang it! I'm hangry and I have a migraine!

We finally go.  Cindy Mama is taking me. We get checked in, get into the waiting room, get gowned up and get asked a million questions.  They IV nurse comes in and tells me I'm not "generous".  Ya... she's the one!  I end up with an IV in my wrist!  Maybe that's normal.... but...Ouch!  So they turn the lights out and hooked me up with better ice packs.  I will just chill with an ice pack on my face and neck until it is finally time to roll.

They ask Cindy if she'd like a drink.  She says yes and they bring her a Diet Coke and a cup of ice.  We'll she ends up spilling the ice and making a huge icy mess all of the floor! Ha! I think it's hilarious.  She doesn't.  Ha Ha!  No she does too.  Talk about an ice breaker to relieve some stress!  {I'm here all night} She gets things cleaned up and gets settled in.  We are going to be here a while.

Another doctor has a patient that is taking WAY longer than scheduled and my time keeps getting bumped.  Once again, thank you for the migraine, I could care less what time it is or what's going on. I am in pain!

While we are waiting the ice pack on my face has done a thorough job of pretty much freezing my forehead solid. I flip it up on top of my head AND all the ice and melted water dumps down my head and down my back, completely soaking my pillow and the blanket I was using.  OOPSIE!!!!  They are going to ban us from having any ice in this hospital!  Cindy gets a new pillow and blanket and we get settled again.  Aren't we quite the pair.  :-)

The Doctor comes in and draws the line on my neck where he will be making the incision and tells me he is ALMOST ready to go in with the patient that was scheduled before me.  We still need to wait.

Next thing I know the anesthesiologist is coming to take me back.  As he wheels me back he is asking about my migraine.  He asks what sets them off and what I do to relieve them.  I tell him: stress, lack of sleep and hunger, to the first question.  Sleep, food, drugs and caffeine for the second.  He tells me that maybe he can get some caffeine in my drip so the migraine is gone when I come out of surgery.

In I go to surgery.  One minute I am getting on the table and we are laughing at joke* the Doctor made and the next minute the nurse is saying, "there you are", as I am coming out of anesthesia.

*The joke:  Dr comes in out of the hallway through the flappy doors. He is laughing at something someone said in the hall.  "Oh....I am just a little disoriented! Chuckle Chuckle".  I laugh, cause I know how funny my doctor is.  The anesthesiologist pipes in, "Oh...he isn't really disoriented"!   Ha Ha I wasn't worried!  No one like a disoriented surgeon! 

She gives me ice and I am having to tell myself to swallow.  My brain doesn't want to.  It hurts!  I can feel where the incision was.  The nurse asks if I am in pain and she ups the meds and gives me more ice.  Doctor comes over and see's how I am doing.  I smile.  I cry a little.  He tells me it's definitely lymphoma.  I cry a little more.  I hurt.  He asks if it's because of the diagnosis or because of the pain. *** It's the pain!  She gives me more drugs.

Next thing I know I am being wheeled to recovery.

***Before I get to recovery the Doctor asks Cindy if I understood what the possibility was that it was lymphoma.  She said yes.  Not until she heard my end of the story did she understand what had happened.  He was concerned that the tears were because of the diagnosis.  He was happy that I woke up with a smile.  It was a risk taking the nodes on the nerves.  It could have caused paralysis.  Yay for waking up with a smile! 

Another nurse comes in and tells me we can finally get something to drink.  Let's get rid of the migraine.  She asks what I'd like to drink.  I tell her I better have water because the anesthesiologist put some caffeine in my drip.  She looks at Cindy and gives her a "what the heck" look and they start laughing.  "JUST BRING ME A DR. PEPPER!"  Apparently there is not a caffeine drip!  All these doctors are clowns!

We take a bit coming out of recovery and it's time to go home.  The nurse is awesome and sends me home with two cups of warm chicken noodle soup.  How stinkin' awesome is that!?

The Doctor was hoping for an immediate understanding of what I had.  The pathologist said I have "old man" cancer.  Then he looked at my charts.  Well that doesn't work.  SO off to SLC with the nodes and they will see what they can determine.

Home and DRUGS!!!!

I know we got home and I parked it in the living room recliner at the Harpers and that is were I stayed for a bit.  The rest is foggy.

I remember getting up to go to the bathroom. YAY!  Cause it took a lot of effort.

and....that's it!  DRUUUUUGS!!!!!!


Friday July 8th -  I have to get up to go get the drain taken out.  I wear my pajamas cause I really don't care.  Luckily I got lots of compliments on my sweet pants at the hospital the day before so I know they don't look too bad.  {False Security}

Cindy and Ken take me in.  Ken waits in the waiting area.  We get to the room and Doc comes and says, "Amy...you are a bit of an anomaly".  I am thinking..why! ...is my heart on the wrong side of my body!  Am I a medical freak!?   He just tells me that it's rare to have patients deal with the information I have been given and be so good about it.  I've always been so positive when I see him.  I just told him that's the way it's got to be.  We can write a whole 'nother post on that later.

Doctor starts taking out the tube.

Let me tell you something about myself.  I can NOT give blood.  I faint.  It's not the needles it's the feeling of things exiting my body that weirds me out.  I can't control it.

The feeling of the tube coming out is ten times worse.  I grab his hands with my eyes open wide and I start to loose it.  He says it's pretty long and to hold on he almost has it out.  He gets it out and I'm going south.

Cindy is calling my name and I tell her I am trying to breath through it.  The Doctor and Nurse get me over to the chair with arms and out I go.

Then I come back... "oh...that's better I see the color coming back".

Good grief!

I go back to the recliner at the Harper's and reside there for the next few days.  We all watch "ALONE" on tv that evening and get hooked.

Saturday July 9 -  I remember Natalie making sugar cookies, because it's National Sugar Cookie Day!

I remember Cousin Owen coming to bring me flowers and meeting his awesome sweetheart.

I remember watching Parks and Rec with Hallie and laughing really hard even though it hurt to laugh.  I remember zoning out because of the drugs, but still laughing when everyone else laughed.  It was involuntary and super hilarious in my mind.  I am laughing just as an auto response to other people laughing and I giggle to myself.  It was loud enough that I don't think anyone noticed I was doing it.  DRUGS!!!!

It's funny as I am writing this a couple of days later.  I can't remember what I don't remember.  I am sure something will trigger a memory but right now...Drugs.

I slept A LOT.

Ended the night with another few episodes of "Alone" it's sooooo gooood!

Sunday July 10 - I am now sick of being on drugs.  It is making me feel crazy and I can't stand how much I am falling asleep.  I want to read my book and my eyes keep crossing and then I fall asleep.  Priorities!  Sleep all day after surgery and get the rest I need OR read my book. Come on!

I try taking just ibuprofen on my next round mid morning.  As Natalie is leaving for church at 1pm she asks if I need anything and I couldn't respond.  As I start to talk I can't form the words and my jaw starts quivering.  It is NOT time for lighter drugs.  Back on the heavy stuff.  That was weird and scary.  Another day of sleeping for me.

We have just a nice evening of reading books {trying on my part} taking naps {had by all} and just relaxing.  A nice storm came through on Sunday and cooled things off quite nicely.

Monday July 11 -  Still feeling like crap.  Today I make a concerted effort to bounce between Tylenol and Ibuprofen today.  I also decide to head home.  I am more alert today so I though I should get home and see what that does.   The Stevens and the Harper kids drove me home.  We stopped by Sam's on the way home and it got me moving.

I did pretty good.  I tried sleeping in my bed.  It did not go well.  I am going to have to sleep on the couch.

Tuesday July 12 -  I went back to work.  Not too bad.  I got a few hours in and came home at 2.  Went home and slept the rest of the night.

Wednesday July 13 - Wake up and need to get in early for a meeting.  I now know how people feel that can't wake up in the morning.  I have the opposite problem.  Can't stay asleep past 5 am.  NOT anymore! It is hard coming out of a drug induced sleep.  I am super nauseated today.  I only last 'til 1pm.  I can't get rid of the nausea.  The migraine comes back like it usually does when I get them.  Super rough night.

Thursday July 14 -  Didn't sleep well at all!!!!!  I've fallen off the med cycle and I've had a hard time keeping track.  I let the pain get out of control.  I wake up just sick!  The migraine is one of those "after migraines" the ghosties that come back.  They aren't as bad.  I think I will be okay.  Still can't get the nausea to go away.  I take my Zophran and it helps a bit.

Off to the doctors to get my stitches out.  Again Ken and Cindy take me over.  Ken waits in the car this time.  He is getting smart.  We get in and he takes out the stitches.  No fainting spells this time!  YAY.  One yank and it was all out! Phew!

The results are back.  I thought I would have to wait until I meet with the oncologist on Monday.

I have MANTLE CELL LYMPHOMA  I do have old man cancer!  I feel entitled to buy my own recliner now!

The nodes were HUGE.  6 CM on one of them.  Holy Gravy!  There are 11 nodes with this happening to them.  The other term they used was Low-Grade lymphoproliferative disorder.  Someone can google that.  I am abstaining from google searches.  I will keep with the information I am told by the Doctors.  I have chosen not to worry about things that come from over exploring the topic.  This is just my way of staying blissfully ignorant!

I see the Oncologist on Monday the 18th.

That concludes getting everything up to date.  I will try and post regularly to keep everyone informed. I don't really want to use Facebook as the medium for communication.  I know group texts are awful and I will gravitate away from doing that now that this is available. 

Please ask questions.  I will get them answered.  For everything one thing that I have written I am sure I have left out about 10 more items of information! 

Love you all!  I feel your prayers, good thoughts and happy juju!  

We can do this!