The Doldrums

dol·drums

ˈdōldrəmz,ˈdäldrəmz/

noun

1. a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or depression.

   
   

   • an equatorial region of the Atlantic Ocean with calms, sudden storms, and light unpredictable winds.

   
   

Don't get me wrong I am not depressed but the inactivity and stagnation is wearing on me.

Friday July 29 - 

If you read my post on Facebook this was not a good day for me.  

Yesterday was a good 'ol Bad Day. 😥 I didn't sleep well the first night here. Not a good start to the day. I was put on the antibiotic for my deadly hangnail and it has MESSED ME UP! Apparently my immune system is so horrible at this stage that even a hangnail can be really bad.  That was a wake up call.  I have a couple of wake up calls this week. 

You know what antibiotics are good at doing to your stomach. So no sleep and miserable stomach made me weepy and a little melancholy. Missing Abby, home, work and church. You know...normal life! It's amazing what this kind of change does to you mentally. I have started to realize that when I am really tired I am a big weepy mess.  Aghhhh.  Pull yourself together.  

But don't worry it was only a bad day.  Thank goodness!  We are only at the beginning of this process and I know I will have many days like this to come.  I am writing this post several days later and I am so surprised how much inactivity is not good for me.  

Saturday July 30 - 

All is well today.  A wise man once told me, while sitting around a campfire, that it is okay to sit on the pity potty, but at some point you always have to get up and flush.  Consider yesterday flushed!

We went in for labs and everything looks great. Still no need for a transfusion. The chemo is doing its thing and my body is keeping up. 
Looking forward to a storm rolling in! Yay for rain. We are hearing Thunder!
Heather and I are now back at the Lodge putting our feet up in one of the lounges and reading. I'm letting drugs do there thing. Stitches came out on my central line. I almost past out! I am such a wimp! 
Thank you Heather Williams Cameron for fanning me and thanks nurse Tony for being awesome. 

This central line is NOT my best friend.  At the same time IT IS!  I don't have to have my veins, which can't be tapped, poked over and over for every needful thing. They just tap into the 3 ports and take and give freely.  Awesome!  However; the little bugger hurts like hell.  It has not gotten much easier to get used to as time is moving on.  The last nurse, Tony, put a different dressing on it which has made a HUGE difference!  To peel off the old dressing and then dowse my wounds in alcohol is PAINFUL!  Thus the need to pass out. He also took out the stitches, like I said, and that has helped a ton.  I am at this point thinking it was the stitches that were causing the biggest problem.  Yay for a little less discomfort on the central line!

Sunday July 31 -  Changing of the Gaurd

This morning Heather will be going home on a shuttle back to Rexburg and my sister Erin is flying in from Washington.  Heather and I have had a lot of adventures figuring out the area here in SLC.  Now we need to get to the airport.  As we are signing out of the lodge Erin calls and her flight was early.  So luckily it is only a 14 minute drive over there. 

We get her picked up and we get Erin signed in as my caregiver, tour and all.  Heather finished up some of my laundry while we were doing the orientation.  We then get Heather over to the Conference Center where the shuttle picks up.  I am sad to find out latter her trip took about 6 hours in an non air conditioned shuttle.  BOOOOOO!!!!!!

Erin and I go up to the room and guess what we do?  We are sisters....chitty chitty chit chat.  Oh yes. We just get to yak it up!  My throat gets raw we are talking so much!  The fun thing is when you are with the sisters and sisters in laws, someone can ask what you talked about for hours on end and you can't really say.  What DIDN'T we talk about! 

Monday August 1 - 

Can't believe it is August!  Today I get to meet up with a Jaye Olafson.  She is going in for her last treatment tomorrow.  Yay!  She wanted to meet with me and just talk about some of the things she has done to get through the process.  What an amazing lady.  She had brought me a beautiful flower arrangement.   We were able to talk for about 30 minutes. Her husband even came in and I got to chat with him as well.  I love amazing people who are willing to make a difference in a complete strangers life. Super awesome!

Most of the day is spent taking a nap.  Taking drugs and talking.  We even read a little.  Yay!

Tuesday August 2 - 

Back to the lab to get blood drawn.  Back to the lab to find out I am doing great and can just leave.  I love that I CAN be here at the lodge!  I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!  Especially since there isn't anything going down.  I do know I need to be close just in case, but aghhhhh!!!!!!

We did find out a key piece of information.  The nurse that was here when they admitted me was here today.  He is super helpful.  He used to work upstairs on the inpatient wing, but moved down to the clinic for a change of shift times.  The clinic is only open during the day.  So he knows both routines. 

The difference between a LAB appointment and an appointment labeled CLINIC is whether I see a Doctor.  The Doctor is only there to talk to me at the clinic appointments.  AGHHH!  The makes more sense.  Each time we've gone in for labs I've had a  list of questions and the Dr isn't there. Now we know and knowing is half the battle. - GI JOE

My stomach is still an ornery mess.  It makes me feel weak.  Why hangnail....WHY!!!!!  The hangnail looks great and I am out of the woods on it turning gangrenous and having my finger fall off.  Thank you antibiotics!  Thank you! 

My hair is starting to fall out.  As Erin and I are sitting on the couch I am running my fingers through my crazy hair and it is falling out.   Almost time to go Bald and Beautiful!! 😄