Confessional
Dear Father forgive me for I have sinned.....Oh wait it's not that kind of Confessional. I guess I won't share that I killed someone last week.
1. I secretly love doing these tags. I'm a little slow at coming up with things. I just don't have that fantastic wit that the Harper's possess to pull humor out of thin air like it's magic!
2. I steal pens. I don't mean to! I just went through my junk closets and drawers (Yes I have many junk stashes) and I brought back a gallon zip lock bag worth of pens to work. If it's in my hand when I leave it goes into my purse or car. I'm sure I could find another bag worth in my car. A lot of times I'll realize what I'm doing when I've gone to the store and taken off with the cashier's pen. I'm the crazy lady running back in yelling, "I took your pen!!!! I'm so sorry!!!!! HERE!!!!! Don't call the cops!"
3. Sometimes I talk to myself, especially when I'm in the car. I didn't really notice how bizarre that was until one day I hear Abby in the back, "what mom?... What?" I was a little embarrassed. "Oh did I say that out loud?"
4. I label the customers/clients that I work with. I got caught doing this quite a while ago when Charlotte read some of the notes I left in a few of my clients orders. She laughed at me! They won't ever see them but I sometimes forget who they are, so I have to leave a memory trail so I can remember. Your who....why do I know you...let me read the notes in your file....OH!!!
Some of them read:
Crazy cat lady with her hair grown down to her butt...Hello Chrystal Gail!
Her house is full of cats and junk, Cat hair and ODORS. Mike & Jason will swell up if they go in house. (totally different lady)
Cute old couple, that are so in love, I'd like to have that kind of relationship when I grow old!
Fart lady, who thinks it's okay to fart in front of you as long as she warns you and apologizes.
5. I'm a dog person, not a cat person.
6. I dream of living on a farm someday, tending a garden and raising small animals.
7. Exceptionally poor English bothers me. "Who did you borrow that sample to"? Loan...LOAN who did I loan it to! Borrow implies receiving, loan implies giving! We's is not a plural! We's went to play basketball last night. Really were you born in a barn? Blah, Blah, Blah! What an English snob I am. Thanks Erin for that!
8. Speaking of being born in a barn. I would like to kill people who can't wipe their muddy shoes off at the door. Have you noticed it's snowing outside and your dirty work boots are wet. Do you smell that glorious aroma of household cleansers in the air. DID YOU NOTICE I JUST MOPPED THE FLOOR!!!!! Oh...I got a little out of control on that one.
9. I sometimes waste a little bit of time on the computer at work. I can't always be writing notes and judging people all day. I don't have internet at home so I get on here for "brief"periods during the day to unwind and clear my mind. Yes, I'm one of those people!
10. I must confess that I did something really funny at Bear lake. That had something to do with waving a bathing suit in the air and doing a hand stand in the water? I know a few other ladies that have the same confession to make!
11. I got a free meal at McDonald's once for being an idiot. I've always wanted to go back during the same scenario and see if I can do it again.
12. I've stolen candy from a baby.
13. I wish the organist at church would play music we know every once in a while, would it kill her? I think this every time no one is singing cause this music means nothing to anyone!
14. I feel it's okay to burp at work as long as I'm in the warehouse. Those are the rules aren't they? You don't have to be a lady in the warehouse.
15. I enjoy making people mad. Don't let me know what really bothers you cause I will do whatever I can to do it! Am I annoying you now?? How about now? Now?....Good!
16. I'm a lovely person on the inside. I don't think a lot of people get to see that side of me too often. That bothers me. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself and speak what I think. That makes me mean? All the guys at work think I'm an angry individual and that's all there is to me. (they know it's not true ;) Not the fact that your a dumb A*&! makes me an angry individual. I'm very nice when your not here! :)
17. I have found that life has become more confusing the older I've gotten. Aren't you supposed to become wiser with age. I confess that I've made a lot of "different" decissions in my life. Isn't that what life is all about? Testing and being tested. I guess I've never been okay with people just telling me what to do and how to do it. I have to find out for myself. Why...do I have to be this way? Can't I just be nieve lemming?
18. I'm a terrible parent. Sometime I will buy myself a new shirt when I know that Abby needs new pants. She's wearing high waters for crying out loud. I rationalize that I need to look good at work and she is just a baby that needs to look good a daycare? No...plus she'll just grow out of it in 2 days anyways. Oh...GUILT!
19. I am forgetfull, I confess! I had a really good #19 I promise! I was saving it for the end and then I forgot! Hmmmm? I can't remember? I'll have to add it later? :)
2. I steal pens. I don't mean to! I just went through my junk closets and drawers (Yes I have many junk stashes) and I brought back a gallon zip lock bag worth of pens to work. If it's in my hand when I leave it goes into my purse or car. I'm sure I could find another bag worth in my car. A lot of times I'll realize what I'm doing when I've gone to the store and taken off with the cashier's pen. I'm the crazy lady running back in yelling, "I took your pen!!!! I'm so sorry!!!!! HERE!!!!! Don't call the cops!"
3. Sometimes I talk to myself, especially when I'm in the car. I didn't really notice how bizarre that was until one day I hear Abby in the back, "what mom?... What?" I was a little embarrassed. "Oh did I say that out loud?"
4. I label the customers/clients that I work with. I got caught doing this quite a while ago when Charlotte read some of the notes I left in a few of my clients orders. She laughed at me! They won't ever see them but I sometimes forget who they are, so I have to leave a memory trail so I can remember. Your who....why do I know you...let me read the notes in your file....OH!!!
Some of them read:
Crazy cat lady with her hair grown down to her butt...Hello Chrystal Gail!
Her house is full of cats and junk, Cat hair and ODORS. Mike & Jason will swell up if they go in house. (totally different lady)
Cute old couple, that are so in love, I'd like to have that kind of relationship when I grow old!
Fart lady, who thinks it's okay to fart in front of you as long as she warns you and apologizes.
5. I'm a dog person, not a cat person.
6. I dream of living on a farm someday, tending a garden and raising small animals.
7. Exceptionally poor English bothers me. "Who did you borrow that sample to"? Loan...LOAN who did I loan it to! Borrow implies receiving, loan implies giving! We's is not a plural! We's went to play basketball last night. Really were you born in a barn? Blah, Blah, Blah! What an English snob I am. Thanks Erin for that!
8. Speaking of being born in a barn. I would like to kill people who can't wipe their muddy shoes off at the door. Have you noticed it's snowing outside and your dirty work boots are wet. Do you smell that glorious aroma of household cleansers in the air. DID YOU NOTICE I JUST MOPPED THE FLOOR!!!!! Oh...I got a little out of control on that one.
9. I sometimes waste a little bit of time on the computer at work. I can't always be writing notes and judging people all day. I don't have internet at home so I get on here for "brief"periods during the day to unwind and clear my mind. Yes, I'm one of those people!
10. I must confess that I did something really funny at Bear lake. That had something to do with waving a bathing suit in the air and doing a hand stand in the water? I know a few other ladies that have the same confession to make!
11. I got a free meal at McDonald's once for being an idiot. I've always wanted to go back during the same scenario and see if I can do it again.
12. I've stolen candy from a baby.
13. I wish the organist at church would play music we know every once in a while, would it kill her? I think this every time no one is singing cause this music means nothing to anyone!
14. I feel it's okay to burp at work as long as I'm in the warehouse. Those are the rules aren't they? You don't have to be a lady in the warehouse.
15. I enjoy making people mad. Don't let me know what really bothers you cause I will do whatever I can to do it! Am I annoying you now?? How about now? Now?....Good!
16. I'm a lovely person on the inside. I don't think a lot of people get to see that side of me too often. That bothers me. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself and speak what I think. That makes me mean? All the guys at work think I'm an angry individual and that's all there is to me. (they know it's not true ;) Not the fact that your a dumb A*&! makes me an angry individual. I'm very nice when your not here! :)
17. I have found that life has become more confusing the older I've gotten. Aren't you supposed to become wiser with age. I confess that I've made a lot of "different" decissions in my life. Isn't that what life is all about? Testing and being tested. I guess I've never been okay with people just telling me what to do and how to do it. I have to find out for myself. Why...do I have to be this way? Can't I just be nieve lemming?
18. I'm a terrible parent. Sometime I will buy myself a new shirt when I know that Abby needs new pants. She's wearing high waters for crying out loud. I rationalize that I need to look good at work and she is just a baby that needs to look good a daycare? No...plus she'll just grow out of it in 2 days anyways. Oh...GUILT!
19. I am forgetfull, I confess! I had a really good #19 I promise! I was saving it for the end and then I forgot! Hmmmm? I can't remember? I'll have to add it later? :)
